Experiencing an imminent & immanent marathon

Travelling with a large group of similarly mad (if not insane) people - also known as 'runners' - I have frequently been asked to describe how I feel now that we are here in New York. For the past few days I have said "surreal". Quite literally dream like. Wandering the streets I keep expecting to wake up either at home in bed or in front of my computer at work.

Reality has seemed to play no part in the last half week since I woke up on Wednesday morning and headed to the airport to catch a QANTAS flight half way round the world. 24hrs, no sleep, 2 planes & half a dozen movies later we were in New York and checking into the Park Central Hotel, 2 blocks South of Central Park and right in Midtown.

Since then the ING NYC Marathon has pervaded everything!

Every morning the hotel lobby writhes with international runners in full running regalia and buzzes with discussion about distances, time, nutrition (carbs, carbs, carbs), expectation, gear and weather. The streets are awash with runners at all times of the day, and night (New York never sleeps), the news is littered with marathon stories and the locals love to hear you're running, why you're running, where you're from, and what you have accomplished to get here. It is impossible to go out without being aware the marathon is here.

The atmosphere is AMAZING, the city is alive and tingling with 'marathon fever' and the support is palpable wherever you go.

And yet until a few short hours ago it still seemed a dream. Having managed to adjust to the time difference easily, I went out early this morning with Kate from World Vision to cheer on Andrew, Aaron, and Rose from WV, as well as Amanda, Hani, and Paul from Amnesty (who needs surnames when you have a charity affiliation) in the NY Road Runners 'Dash to the Finish Line'. Standing in the bleachers cheering people on as they ran the last 200m in all manner of style and comfort, the reality of tomorrow sank in, and a similar sensation was felt in the pit of my stomach which sank DOWN!

Oh my! Just WHAT exactly have I done in signing up for this?

The sensation of fear and disbelief continued to rise over breakfast as I chatted with Kate, Rose, and Amanda and while my goal is to finish and enjoy the race all manner of doubts and a sensation of panicky fear grew until I quite literally wanted to piss my pants! To know that this time tomorrow I will be somewhere in the 42.2kms between the start and finish, that the crowds support and the determination of the World Vision Team to complete will carry each of us through was cold comfort as my mind raced with the terror of "what if I can't do it?".

What if I can't do it?
What if I'm still going after dark?
What if everyone has gone home and I'm still out there?
Or my worst fear, what if they take down the course markers and I'm still running but can no longer find the way?

Baseless fears, founded in the uncertainty of the unknown and now purged by writing. I know tomorrow will bring many challenges, many fears and many triumphs. I know tomorrow I will face the temptation to simply give up, to quit and walk away and I know that deep down there is a core that refuses to surrender.

I WILL FINISH, and I will stand proud of what has been accomplished for World Vision, and for those SEE Solutions benefits and for who I will know myself to be. Today I am a runner, simply because I run. Tomorrow I am a marathoner!

QF107 to New York is departing ... TODAY!

The time is finally upon me and upon us all! 

Despite some turbulence over the weekend (some minor disruption at an airline?) tomorrow all 47 of us taking part in this Inspired Adventure will congregate in New York for the final few days leading to the culmination of 10 months effort! Running the New York Marathon for Charity!

This late night post will be my last before New York, I promised to explain how to follow me so anyone who wants to watch it live, or simply check in at 6am and see if I'm still alive and running can do so.  

Go to the official NY Marathon website runner tracking page and look for "TrackMyRunners via Web" (a free web service available on race day) or get the "Join In, Mobile Spectator App" ($2.99, iPhone and Android).   

My bib number is 49255 and I'm in Blue Wave #3, Corral #49 and my start time is 10:40am New York time which is about 01:40am Monday 7th in Sydney.  

4 days, 7 hours left on the official countdown timer, so many emotions and thoughts, so many expectations, hopes and concerns, so many unknowns! 

Ultimately, I wake up early tomorrow, put my bags in the car and start the first leg of what will be a 24 hour journey to arrive in one of the most famous and frenetic cities in the world and 3 days later run a 42KM race for people who struggle to feed their families.  That fact is enormously sobering and makes me realise what a great privilege it is to be given the opportunity to do this.  How fortunate am I to be able to take have an opportunity like this and to use it to transform the lives and worlds of some of the poorest people in the world. 

As of today, I have raised $10,935 for World Vision's SEE Solutions, the World Vision Team has raised $121,350.06 as a whole.  That is an enormous effort and one that will make a huge difference to so many people!

No matter how my race is run (or walked) on Sunday, it has a purpose and one of which I am proud to be part.  42.2KM, and every step dedicated to the transformation of lives around the world.  

Now I'm READY! 

Now I'm EXCITED!

A rising sense of ... panicitement?

Panicitement (Pan-I-Site-ment) -  the sensation of fear and anticipation where it is impossible to tell if it is PANIC or EXCITEMENT that you feel, and most probably a sizeable dose of both!

Moments of dread, horror, excited anticipation, & numbing shock at how little time there remains until I'll be standing at the start line (admittedly for 4 hours before the race starts).  A little over 11 days remains and there is much to be done still.

All those last minute items like finding warm clothes for New York and warmer clothes for Toronto the week after along with making sure I list out all my running gear so I don't forget anything.  Then there are the practical steps like money, international roaming for emergencies, getting in touch with people to visit, working out what to do in the days leading up to the race (more excitement than panic thinking through this), looking forward to meeting the Team World Vision USA runners on the Friday night & planning just how much sleep I can actually get on the plane!

On the flip side are the doubts that creep in - Will they let me into the USA? (I have changed my surname since the last time I was there).  Can I make the distance? (YES! Even if I have to walk the whole way!).  Will the tightness that runs from the middle of my back down my right leg to my ankle making it painful to run and sometimes walk present itself again on race day? (It has done so twice in the last month, most recently this weekend just gone).

And through it all I return to 2 things. Firstly God is control and I rely on him. Secondly, even if I have to walk the whole course I am crossing that finish line! At 6km an hour that's only 7 hours of walking :)